


nickle and dime

by Nivena



Series: allopreening [2]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman and Robin (Comics), Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: Batfamily Feels, Fluff, Gen, Jason-Centric, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Very Determined and Aggressive Fluff, Where Nobody Dies Ever, batfam, gratuitous Spanish, u will rip latino jason todd from my COLD DEAD HANDS, unapologetic fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-08
Updated: 2016-04-08
Packaged: 2018-05-31 23:31:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6492082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nivena/pseuds/Nivena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Dick makes his brother run the weirdest errands, and Jason gets attacked with a broom.</p><p>alternatively: do you know how much research on pennies i just did</p>
            </blockquote>





	nickle and dime

**Author's Note:**

> i said i wasn't going to do any more of this until i finished reprise. i lied.

"I need you to go to the bank and ask for every penny they have."

 

Jason takes a deep breath, and attempts not to assume the worst.

 

"Are you asking me to rob a bank, because I'm not sure how good that is for our image."

 

"No! I  _ literally  _ need every penny they have. Take, like, a twenty or something."

 

Grayson couples a quick  _ got to go  _ with an insincere  _ sorry! _ and abruptly hangs up before Jason has the opportunity to question him further. Dick.

 

He has 3 options.

 

1) Ignore his brother. This will result in guilt tripping, and it being held over his head for a week, minimum.

 

2) Make the news. "Bludhaven vigilante carries buckets of coins up to sixth-story apartment! For no reason!"

 

3) Make the news. "Jason Todd-Wayne asks for a ridiculous amount of coins, terrorist plot suspected."

 

He groans and pulls a twenty out of his pocket.

* * *

It's four in the morning, and Jason is in full costume, attempting to explain to the bank teller that he really needs 2,000 pennies. He wishes he could pinpoint an exact moment in his life that led him to this.

 

It takes a solid half hour, two managers, and opening the coins-to-cash machine, but Blackbird finally has twenty dollar's worth of pennies. They actually don't weigh that much. The problem was mostly finding a space to put them. About a hundred coins in, he filled up his utility belt. A couple more handfuls went into his boots, and a solid fifty fit into the little glove compartments. He pulled the grapple gun out of it's holster and filled that to the brim with coins, before looking back at the bucket and sighing. He'd barely made a dent.

 

Finally, the manager that didn't already go home handed him her emptied out handbag.

 

"I wrote my address down on my business card, it's in the front pocket. This should hold the rest." She says, sounding barely a second away from losing her shit. Jason supposes it is funny to watch. Probably not as funny as dumping this all over his shit brother's head will be, but that's a pleasure for him alone.

 

Speaking of shit brother, he felt his phone buzz.

 

_ dick: Where are you? _

_ I need the pennies _

_ Are there any that were minted before 1857? _

 

Seriously. What the fuck.

* * *

Blackbird climbs through the window, bearing a pink-lavender-purple purse full of pennies, which he immediately dumps out on the rug.

 

The ensuing clang bring his brother out of the bedroom, where he was doing god knows what. He stares, unimpressed, as the vigilante begins to divest himself of coins.

 

"So," Jason begins, tugging off his boot and watching the flood of winking copper, "are you ever gonna tell me what the hell this was all about?"

 

Dick just raises his eyebrow. "You put them in your  _ boots _ ?"

 

"Seriously. What the fuck do you want with all these?"

 

His brother just grabs a handful and walks back into the bedroom. Jason hastily pulls off the rest of his armor, coins and all.

 

When he walks in, he could honestly say he really wasn't expecting that.

* * *

There's still a penny somewhere in his suit, jangling away mercilessly. It's really putting a cramp in his "stealth" gimmick, when everyone can hear him coming. Dick is not a help, at all. He just laughs.

 

He feels faintly ridiculous, a costumed vigilante loitering outside a balcony, with a handbag and a business card in either hand. It looks like he's there for a booty call.

 

It seems he spent too long trying to figure out whether to leave the bag on the doorstep or knock, and a little old lady with a broom decides for him.

 

"Get the fuck away from here you  _ hijo de puta _ !" The old woman screamed, brandishing the blunt end far too close to his neck for his liking. He takes a second to process the Spanglish, then smiles a bit. Spanish was his first language, the one his mother taught him growing up.

 

" _ Porfavor pon la escoba en el piso, señorita _ !" He pleaded, nudging away the broomstick. He held up the handbag, in an attempt to get her to stop. Please let him have gotten the right address.

 

_ "What the hell are you doing with my daughter's purse!" _ She screamed. Okay, right address.

 

_ "Um, returning it?"  _ He said quickly, stepping back a bit.  _ "I swear I'm not a stalker!" _

 

_ "Then what the hell are you doing dressed like that? And at the window? Use the door like a normal person!" _

 

She has a point there.

 

_ "Okay, look, your daughter works at the bank I needed to go to because my brother needed pennies and she gave me my bag and I'm leaving now, okay? Good night."  _ He almost escapes scot free, but then remembers what Dick asked him for before he left.

 

_ "Okay, I'm really sorry to bother you, but do you happen to know where I could get construction nails?" _

* * *

They're cleaning up after a big fight in Gotham, when Batman picks up one of Nightwing's Wing-Dings. Which was totally not Jason's choice of name, and he isn't going to ever call them that outside of his internal monologue.

 

"These are different. Cheap. What are they made out of?" He asks, bending it. It folds easily, having been made thin, with only cutting in mind.

 

"Zinc and copper." Nightwing responds cheerily, plucking a line out of the side of a building.

 

"Like pennies?" Batman asks.

 

"Yes," Jason sighs. "Like pennies."

**Author's Note:**

> this all came from me suddenly remembering that scene in the Nightwing series where he's making his own Batarangs and then i decided to write about a thousand words on exactly where he got the metal for that.


End file.
